On Saturday, Pickens County held auditions for a talent show scheduled to be a part of the whole sesqu … sesquien … sesquicenten … whatever — I can’t say or spell it — the County’s 150th anniversary festivities taking place later this Fall.
I really wanted to go.
Now, for those of you out there who know me personally, this probably sounds like an odd thing for me to say because if there’s one thing that makes me exceedingly uncomfortable, it’s attention.
As editor, I am frequently approached for speaking engagements at various clubs, schools and organizations around the area. Over the years I think I’ve agreed to two … and about had a panic attack both times.
Most often I beg off — citing work schedule or deadlines — but the truth of the matter is I just really don’t like to do it. I’m a big chicken when it comes to that kind of stuff …
And yet, the idea of a talent show was really appealing to me for some reason.
One problem: I have no talents.
OK, I don’t mean to say I’m an entirely talent-less person — I don’t believe that’s true for anyone. What I mean is that I don’t really have any showcase-able talents.
I can sing, but not very well, and only in the car or the shower — neither of which anyone wants to see put up on a stage.
I used to play the trombone and the tuba, but not since high school and I’m fairly sure the successful completion of a B Flat scale wouldn’t have been enough to push me into “Round 2.”
I can’t dance, I can’t draw and I have no idea how to juggle. In all honesty, I can’t even fold a fitted sheet, I just kinda “neatly wad” it and hope for the best.
The whole thing got me wondering: Is there anything that I am really good at? And I drew a complete blank.
All right … start smaller. What’s something I can easily do that others seem to struggle with?
Ah ha! Surely I have a couple of those. For one, I can wiggle my ears. Two? I can name all the state capitols. Three? I can eat a buffalo chicken wing really fast.
OK — maybe not that third one — but I can throw up Spock’s “Live long and prosper” sign (with either hand!) like I grew up on Vulcan. So I’ve got that going for me …
I guess what it really comes down to is presentation.
You can be the best at the world at something but if it’s not something you can easily “wow” others with on a stage, it’s less of a “talent” and more of a “skill.”
I mean, what should I have done? Stood up on that stage and wrote a newspaper? Taken a spelling test?
Judges: “Kasie, your word is ‘sesquicentennial.’”
Me: “Oh, crap …”