“Nine times out of 10 the hard thing to do is the right thing to do.”

If you happened to read my column last week, you discovered I am in a very self-reflective mode in my life at the moment and may even remember I sometimes write about what I like to call the “Thirty Things in Life I have Found to be True.”

The quote above, unlike last week’s, is not mine and I stake no claim to it. That particular nugget of wisdom is from my father, and I could never stress to you how many times I have heard it in my lifetime. And, I would also like to point out, if I had taken it to heart long before I finally came to terms with its truthfulness, things would have been much, much different.

Not that I don’t like my life as it is, because I do. I actually love my life. But the absolute sagacity of this piece of advice escaped me — possibly just out of rebelliousness, surprise there I’m sure — and as I look back at the number of times I took the easy way out, it’s disappointing.

So, in order to not only remind myself of the liberation of soul, spirit, and mind in accepting this adage as true and using it in my life, I want to share it with you. Hopefully you’re poised somewhere with a quiet cup of coffee or a moment to reflect.

We all, as part of the human condition, are responsible for our own happiness in life and if we depend on others to supply it, it’s almost a constant that disappointment will follow. It is also a part of the human condition that we have the most difficult of times doing the hard things in life. We often find ourselves lost and confused as to how we should act, or react depending on the situation, and it’s usually during these times one of two things happens: we either freeze up and don’t act at all or we take the path of least resistance.

Consider the number of times you have been faced with a tough decision. It could be a relationship that has gone south, a job you struggle with, a friend who happens to be bad for your life — it doesn’t matter, the same still applies. But, especially where others are concerned emotionally, we often make decisions in the hopes it will be right and we will be able to spare someone, including ourselves, heartache.

Or maybe, once again depending on the situation, we don’t want to have to explain ourselves and decide to go the easy route. This may be a short term solution but in the long run, there is almost some kind of regret on our parts for having not made the tough call.

My father always offered this piece of advice in the times I was facing extremely tough choices. He wanted me to grow up and be strong, to see the difference between floating through life and actually being responsible for my actions. I honestly believe and know, he was right — he always was, and still is.

Understand, this is not an endorsement to be callous or cold-hearted in any way. As a matter of fact, no matter how much you may assume that’s exactly what would be required of you, in the long run a small amount of pain is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of regret. And at its heart, this is about doing the RIGHT thing, not in a selfish way but in a conscientious and responsible way.

Time has a way of distorting our past, and we willfully allow it to happen as no one likes to look back at the replay of moments relived and see themselves in a poor light.

That’s where this comes into play, and once I accepted it as true, my life has been very different. At the end of the day the one thing that doesn’t keep me up nights is whether I did the right thing, or at least gave it my best.

In essence, the next time you find yourself confused or struggling over what you should do, sit down and think. Consider what it is you are struggling with. Look at all your options, ALL OF THEM, not just the ones you’re comfortable with, and in the end I think you will find the one choice you least want to make is the one you should make — for anyone and everyone involved.

There aren’t that many who are willing to give up the comfort of a paved street for an uncut path, but in the end, those who do make the hard choices are usually the happiest and leave much less destruction in their wake over the span of their lives.